Golden Sun: The Untold Story
by Kitty and the Chocobo Warrior
Summary: Mia has an ankh and she's not afraid to use it. Ivan is evil. Isaac is mute. And Garet has the IQ of a particularly dull gorilla. What did the original team do during Golden Sun: The Lost Age? Well, you're going to find out!
1. This Is Just the Beginning

Disclaimer: We do not own Golden Sun.

**Hello, all! This is Chocobo Warrior and Kitty, the authoresses, speaking. It's been a long time, but Golden Sun: The Untold Story is back up and here to stay! You see, it was foolishly removed from the site, and we've been working hard to recover all the chapters and get them back up. So please be patient, we're working on it...**

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The beams of Venus Lighthouse shone brightly on Isaac, Garet, Ivan and Mia...just a painful reminder of their latest faliure. The Wise One sure couldn't be very wise...he sent _them_ to save the world? He should have sent someone more capable. Like a two-year-old. 

Anyway, the foursome were on board their newly obtained ship, course set for the town of Dalia. Isaac was steering, Ivan was playing the role of navigator, Mia was waving at the dolphins, and Garet was dancing for some unknown reason. "Okay, Isaac," Ivan directed, looking at the map. "Keep going south, and we should hit Dalia."

They didn't hit Dalia. They hit a boulder. Actually, they sort of _crashed_ into it.

"Oops," Ivan apologized. "Maybe I don't have such a good sense of direction after all..."

Mia climbed from the wreckage of what had been their ship. "Well, at least we made it to land. In one piece, no thanks to Master Navigator Ivan." She glanced at the map Ivan was clutching. "...Who was holding the map UPSIDE DOWN the WHOLE time!"

"Oh. That would explain it," Ivan said under his breath. Aloud he said,"Well, you weren't helping. Some Water Adept you are, getting seasick."

Garet decided to step in before the conversation turned into an argument. If it wasn't already. "Guys, stop it..." Great effort there, Garet. That's sure going to help.

Ivan gave him a disdainful look. "Oh, just shut up, Garet. Nobody cares what you have to say."

It was Isaac's turn to try. "..." He dotted. Isaac was mute. Or at least, that's just what everyone said he was, since the only things he could say were dots and various other punctuation marks. Hold on...how do you actually say a punctuation mark? That mystery will just have to go unsolved.

Garet acted as a human translator. "Isaac says stop fiteing cause it won't do any good." Except, we'd probably need a translator to understand _him._

Ivan frowned. "Since when did you learn how to understand Isaac's dots?"

"We've been freinds 4 like, 4eva!" was Garet's...odd...response.

Mia gave him a funny look. "And since when did you know chatspeak? There aren't any computers in Weyard!"

"Really? There aren't? I must have dreamed it, then!"

Psyenergy was radiating off of Ivan. When the glow subsided, he grinned evilly.'Cause he's evil, verrry eeeevil."My gosh, you really are stupid, Garet," he said in a shocked tone. "No wonder you failed the third grade." The look on Garet's face amused him. "Yes...I just read your empty mind."

Garet growled at him. Don't ask.

"..." Isaac dotted.

"He asks if Ivan knows the way to Dalia," was Garet's sullen response.

"No! Don't give him the map," Mia interrupted. "He'll just get us lost again!"

Ivan gave her his special Evil Glare of Doom. Yes, DOOM. "Why don't you ask Mia? She claims to be an _excellent_ navigator..."

Mia returned the glare. "Well, at least I didn't crash the ship."

Isaac, tiring of this pointless conversation, grabbed the map from Ivan and started to walk to Dalia by himself. Let's see how long it takes for him to get there. "..." he dotted.

"He says he is going 2 dalia and if u r coming come on or he'll leeve without u," Garet translated. Anybody make _any_ sense of that?

Ivan laughed. "Well, that explains the F in Language Arts...yes, I know all of your most embarassing moments!"

Garet growled again.

And meanwhile, Isaac was still walking. He's walked about two feet, to be exact. Good for him!

"What was his average?" Mia asked.

Ivan glared at her. Again. He likes glaring. "Why should I tell you? You haven't been exactly nice to me--" He noticed Isaac, who had walked another four centimeters. "HEY, ISAAC, WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?"

Mia turned. "AH! ISAAC, WAIT UP!"

And Isaac walked on.

Mia slowed. "You're so slow, Isaac! Slower than even _Garet_!"

"HEY! WAS THAT AN INSULT?" Garet yelled.


	2. Daila

Golden Sun: The Untold Story Act II

Dislaimer:We don't own Golden Sun.

Isaac, Garet, Ivan, and Mia entered Dailia, to find it a wreck. Water was everywhere--the place looked like it had been hit by a tidal wave. (Which, of course, it had, but they don't know that.)

"Well, we're here," said Mia, looking around. "What happened to this place?" She looked at the water pooling everywhere.  
"A giant sea monster had its revenge and wrecked the town!" exclaimed Garet evilly. "Mwahahaha!" Everyone stared at him in in disbelief and bafflement. "Okay, so maybe not."

"I thought I was the evil one here," said Ivan. The others continued to stare at Garet.

Mia walked over to Ivan. "It's a wonder he passed pre-k," she whispered. Ivan shrugged indifferently.

"Whaaaatever. What are we supposed to do in this dump anyway?" In answer, Isaac pointed to the weapons and armor stalls.

Garet started hopping up and down like a hyperactive little kid. Excitedly, he said, "Lets, lyk, go nd lyk, get some new, lyk ,weapens!" Isaac shook his head slowly and sighed. No doubt he was wondering how he became friends with Garet in the first place. Maybe he was smarter back then. Just maybe.

"...", Isaac said (How you say '...' is stilla mystery, but oh well).

Garet became very angry when he figured out what Isaac was saying to him. " I sound like a teenage girl? Isaac! Ur so meen! I do not sound like a teenage girl!"

Isaac's remark had, needless to say, very much offended Mia. "Excuse me? I am a teenage girl!" She glared venomously at Isaac. Isaac felt something very bad was coming.

Ivan, however, had no idea what was going on with the others. He walked over to the stall, examining the weapons. "Well, I could maybe use a new wooden stick these blacksmiths call staffs. But on the other hand, I like these swords, too..." he said, to no one in particular. Mia caught up wth him.

"Yeah, I guess I could, too..." Mia said, more to herself than to Ivan, because Ivan, as usual, wasn't listening. Once again, she glared at Isaac. Isaac shuddered.

Ivan, meanwhile, still was clueless about the whole argument. "Artifacts, puleez," he said to the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper brought out his rarest weapons. So that's why all the _good _weapons are gone by the time Felix and company get there..._these_ guys took them.

Mia bent over an Angelic Ankh. An idea came into her head. "I'll take this one, please," she told the shopkeeper politely, paying him. Isaac watched from a safe distance. Was it just him, or was Mia's sudden good mood very suspicious?

"I'll take this Assasin Blade," Ivan said, with an evil grin. Nobody paid much attention to his evil grin. After all, Ivan was evil. Evil grins were to be expected.

Now Garet placed his and Isaac's order. Thankfully, this time he remembered what they wanted. "My freind their wants a long sword, and I want, lyk, a broad ax! Thanx vry much," Garet said. However, he had to repeat it several times before the shopkeeper finally the meaning of Garet's gibberish.

"..." said Ivan, shaking his head. He seemed dazed by Garet's horrible spelling.

"Ivan, are you trying to take Isaac's throne as the King of the Dots?" Mia said, strangely cheerful. Ivan snapped out of his daze.

"No. I'm sorry Isaac, I just had no idea what to say about Garet's spelling..." Isaac nodded and smiled, which Ivan took to be an 'It's okay'.

"...," said Isaac. He glanced at Mia, who seemed very happy. A little too happy. Mia caught his glance and smiled malovently at him.

"Oh,don't think I've forgotten about you..." she snarled. She then whacked him on the head with her new ankh. Isaac slumped to the ground. Ivan and Garet gulped.

"Note to self: Try very, very, hard not to get Mia mad," said Ivan nervously.


	3. Kandorean Temple

Golden Sun: The Untold Story Act III

**Disclaimer: We don't own Golden Sun. Or King Kong.**

The group has arrived at Kandorean Temple. What more is there to be said? Isaac looked at it. "...," he said. Garet, being the only person who could understand Isaac's dot language, said:

"Isaac says, woow, kandooraeen templ!" Ivan and Mia thought that at this rate, they'd need a Garet translator, too. Mia looked at the surroundings. It didn't look like such a big deal.

"It took us long enough finding it," she whined, looking pointedly at Ivan, the not-very-good navigator, as she said this. "It had better be good." Ivan decided to ignore Garet's spelling this one time. "Do you do anything but complain, Mia? If you're going to complain, then just don't talk."

"Okay, then. I'll be like Isaac and not talk!"

"Good luck with that."

While Mia scowled, Garet though it was time to voice his (very few) thoughts. "U meen I have 2 trainslate 4 both of them? Sheesh!" he said, annoyed.

"..." said (or dotted) Isaac and Mia. Garet sighed, resigned.

"They say, could my spelling get ne worse---HEY!" Garet became very angry when Isaac and Mia's words (or dots) sunk in. Ivan rolled his eyes and ran to the side entrance, much faster than Isaac or Garet. He used Whirlwind to summon a, well, whirlwind to blow the ivy away.

"Can we go in already?" Ivan said. Isaac and Mia had to drag a very angry Garet, who refused to move, to the cave.

"..." they said. Garet, impressed, forgot all about his anger. Or maybe he forgot his anger because of his two-minute memory span. Whatever, at least he wasn't trying to burn down the temple. At the moment.

"Wow, u guys are lyk totally coordinated...WHAT DID YOU SAY? I'M SLOW! WHAT!" He continued to try to burn down the temple. Mia eventually had to Douse him.

Ivan stood there, watching it all with great amusement. "Congratulations, Garet!" Ivan said, with mock cheerfulness. "You said and spelt a big word correctly!" Isaac and Mia grew impatient, and pointed to the entrance to another cave. "Well, do ya think we should follow that bald guy?" Ivan asked, indicating a monk who had just entered the cave. Isaac and Mia nodded. They all snuck into the cave, past the "bald guys," as Ivan put it, and eventually come to a stalagmite maze.

"Well, I guess we should go another way," Garet said. "We can't go through here." While he was saying this, the others had already gone through the maze. Garet tried to get through also, but kept bumping into dead ends(and stalagmites). "How did you get through?" he asked. "It's impossible!" Everyone else rolled their eyes. In the end, Isaac and Mia had to (once again) drag Garet through the maze. "I knew that."

"I'm so sure," said Ivan sarcastically. They come to a river. Garet becomes very frustrated.

"There's, lyk, no way 2 do this! What kind of test is this?" he moaned.

"He has a point, for once in his life," replied Ivan. "Why are we even doing this?" Mia had an idea. She called out all her Djinn to make a bridge across the water. Everyone stepped across the bridge, except for Garet, who fell off and was yet again dragged by Isaac and Mia to the other side. "What is that, the third time they've had to drag you?" asked Ivan. Garet tried to speak, but water gushed out of his mouth. Everyone else laughed at him.

"Hey, look," Garet said. "There's a hole in the wall!" He bent down to look at it.

"Um, Garet..." Ivan said nervously, but too late. Water shot out of the hole and knocked Garet off the edge of the platform. The others sweatdropped. "This really isn't Garet's day, is it?" Ivan said. Mia and Isaac shook their heads. "How typical of him though." Suddenly, the geyser shot up again, with a soaking wet Garet on it. Mia and Isaac drag him onto the platform. Again. Ivan smirked. "This is the fourth time they've had to drag you," Ivan said. "Going for a new record?"

"..." said Garet.

"NOT YOU TOO!" screamed Ivan.

"I'm afraid Ivan will go even more crazy than he already is...I'll talk now," Mia said.

"Oh, gee, thanks, Mia," said Ivan.

"You're welcome," Mia said insincerely.

"Why, oh why did I have to follow Isaac and Garet in the first place?" Ivan moaned.

Mia shrugged.  
"I don't know and never will, because I wasn't there at the time. Now let's go, shall we?" The group headed even deeper into the cave. Just when they were almost out, three Chestbeaters decided to attack them.

"Hey, look, Garet! It's your relatives!" said Ivan, indicating the Chestbeaters. "Ummm..." Mia said.

"..." Isaac dotted.

"AHHHH! KING KONG IS MULTIPLYING!" Garet screamed.

Everyone stared at him.

Ivan rolled his eyes. "Wow...maybe we should take you to the sanctum. I think you have a curse of stupidity!" Isaac interrupted by pointing at the very angry Chestbeaters.

"Nah..." said Garet. "We don't have to worry. It's a turn-based battle system, and Ivan's supposed to go first. It's the rules."

However, the Chestbeaters didn't seem to know or care about the rules, and flung Garet across the room.

Everyone sweatdropped.

A while later, the Chestbeaters were defeated. The party gets the Lash Pebble for their troubles. "That's all?" Garet asked. Ivan used Lash to make Garet trip over a rope.

And for the fifth time that day, Isaac and Mia dragged Garet out of Kandorean Temple.


	4. Dekhan Plateau

Act 4

"Don't even go there about my sense of direction, Mia," Ivan warned. They had been walking for three hours, and now had absolutely no idea where they were going. So they had reverted to Plan B---wandering around cluelessly. Hey, it was the best plan they had. Mia rolled her eyes. "Whaaaatever." She looked back to see two specks in the distance, the two specks being Isaac and Garet.

"They are the slowest people on Weyard!" she said.

For once, Ivan agreed with her. "You're telling me?" he said. "I had to go through the whole Kolima Forest with those two snails!" Ivan shuddered. Bad memories.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I'm glad I wasn't there."

"You should be."

They looked up from this conversation to catch sight of the Dekhan Plateau in the distance. Wow, sometimes wandering cluelessly actually works! Sometimes. Most of the time it just gets you even more lost. But that's not the point. Anyway, Mia and Ivan finally arrived at the entrance to the Dekhan Plateau. They looked back at the two specks in the disance again. "Do you think we should wait for them, or go in this week?" Ivan asked.

"Let's go," Mia answered.They entered the plateau, only to have Mia step on cracked earth and fall. "Ahhh!" she yelled. Then there was a thud. Where Mia had fallen, there was a big hole.

"Mia?" Ivan called. "Mia?" He started to panick. Not because he was worried about Mia, but because she had the map. And we all know about Ivan's non-existent navigation skills. "Where'd she go?" Mia emerged from a staircase. Who's the person who puts these staircases and puzzles everywhere, anyway?

"I'm not Garet, you know," Mia said, half annoyed, half amused.

"Good point," Ivan said. "Anyway, let's get moving." They moved on to the next area, a place with lots of stone pillars. However, they didn't notice that some of the pillars were cracked. Pretty much everything in the Dekhan Plateau is cracked, but anyways...Ivan jumped onto a cracked pillar, only to have it collapse under him. "Ugh."

"That's gotta hurt," Mia said.

"You bet it does. Why don't you try it?" Ivan replied.

"No thanks, I don't think so."

"Oh, but it's so much fun! Not." With that, Ivan pushed Mia onto a cracked pillar. Not a wise thing to do. It made Mia very angry. And we know what happens when Mia gets angry.

A few minutes and several whacks from Mia's ankh later, they had passed the "Area of the Cracked Pillars" and moved on. They spotted a Djinn on a ledge above them. "Look, isn't that a Mars Djinni?" Mia said.

"Well, seeing as it isn't a Mercury, Venus, or Jupiter Djinni," Ivan said sarcastically, "I'll say, yes, it's a Mars Djinni." Mia rolled her eyes. They climbed a ladder (who puts all this stuff here?) and tried to approach the Djinn, only to have it run away. They repeated this process until, finally, they fell into a hole and ended up in a cave full of cracked earth, and the Djinn not too far away. Mia tried to catch it, only to have it Pound her to the floor below.  
"Well, that obviously isn't the way to do it," said Ivan, when Mia came up again. "Maybe we should try sneaking up on it.

"It's carrying something special," Mia said.

"No...really?" said Ivan.

Mia whacked him with the ankh for his sarcasm. Eventually, they managed to sneak up behind the Djinn and defeat it, also earning the item it was carrying--the Pound Cube.

"They really have to come up with better names for these things," Ivan said.

"For once, I agree with you," Mia replied.

"Let's go, shall we?"

"Yeah."

They waited at the end of Dekhan Plateau for Isaac and Garet.

Two weeks later...they still hadn't arrived.

"How slow can they GET!" yelled Ivan and Mia.


	5. Madra

The party has now arrived at the city of Madra. However, before they can enter, they are stopped and checked by two guards. "Are you pirates?" a guard asked.

Mia found this and extremely silly and pointless question.  
"Do you seriously think someone is just going to tell you they are pirates? That is so pointless!" she said.

"Well, sorry, little girl."

"Excuse me? I am not a little girl, and I don't like being called one, either!" And with that, she prepared to attack the guard. Luckily, Isaac and Garet arrived on the scene and managed to get her to a quiet place before she sent Madra into an Ice Age. Ivan shook his head.

"Can I leave you for ten minutes without you causing any trouble?" he asked. That was a very lame insult, and they all knew it.

"Do you have rudeness block, Ivan?" Mia asked. "You sound like my mom."

"..." Ivan was speechless for the first time. And probably last.

Garet chose this moment to speak. "Isaac, Ivan is trying 2 usurp u as King of the Dots." Isaac laughed. He didn't seem worried at all.

"... ... .. ... . ... ... ..." Isaac dotted.

"He says he's not worried, because he knows Ivan can't go 4 long without saying somethin rude or sarcastick," Garet translated. Ivan rolled his eyes. Mia, however, got bored of this conversation and wandered off into the jail. Why the jail? No idea. Ivan suddenly noticed that she left and looked around.

"?" question-marked Ivan.

"..." said Isaac.

"He says that Ivan can b King of the Question Marks," Garet translated. Ivan rolled his eyes again, and wandered off into the jail. Why the jail again? Who knows? Anyway, inside the jail, Ivan and Mia saw a blue-haired manhave a temper tantrum (really, shouldn'the have been too old for temper tantrums?)and use Psynergy on one of the guards. Both the guards then run off, leaving the blue-haired guy totally unguarded.

"The guards just run away? No wonder their jail is almost empty," Mia remarked. She turned to the blue-haired guy, who is now going to be called Piers because everyone knows who he is anyway. "Didn't you just use Frost?" she asked him.

"I didn't do anything," Piers replied.

"Don't lie."

"I didn't do anything!"

"Liar."

"For the last time, I didn't do anything!"

"You're really lucky I can't reach you behind bars, or you would have gotten the ankh treatment."

"Anyways..." Ivan interrupted. "Mia is also a Water Adept, even though she has the temper of a Mars Adept." He grinned evilly.

"What's with the evil grin?" Mia asked.

"I'm evil. It's what I do."

"..." Mia had no comment for that.

"NO! NOT THE DOTS! THEN I'LL ONLY HAVE GARET TO TALK TO!" Ivan screamed.

Piers stared at them with wide eyes. Like this, to be exact: oO

Mia suddenly remembered Piers was there. "Oh, don't mind him. I think he's being possessed by an evil spirit." To herself she muttered. "Whatever happened to quiet, shy Ivan?"

Ivan now spoke to Piers. "Why are you in jail, anyway, Piers?" he said. Hold on, how do they know that his name is Piers? Never mind. "Are we talking to a murderer or something?"

Piers didn't feel like replying to that very offensive remark. "..." he said.

"Hey, look, he's a Dot-speaker."

Mia now remembered the Earth and Fire Adepts. "Speaking of dots, where is the King of Dots and the King of Gibberish anyway?"

"Well, seeing as Isaac is probably doing what we're supposed to be but not doing..." Ivan said.

"That made no sense."

"Let me finish! So...Garet is probably with him. Meaning there's no telling what they will do."

Piers had been completely forgotten. "I'm still here, you know..." Piers said. The others took no notice of him.

Ivan was still talking. "Maybe we should go get them before they get themselves into trouble. Isaac can't control Garet alone. We have to make sure Isaac doesn't give in to the forces of stupidity. One Garet is enough."

"Yeah, okay. Let's go, then. I'm bored," Mia said. Ivan and Mia then walked out of the jail, leaving behind a very confused Piers behind.

"Oooookayyyy..." Piers said.


	6. Yampi Desert

Now they're in the Yampi Desert. There really isn't that much more to say about it. There's nothing interesting about it, except for a cave with a summon-stealing boss and a tablet. It's not even an evil desert like the Lamakan Desert. It's just...a desert. Anyways.

"You know, after the Lamakan Desert, I don't mind the heat anymore," Mia commented.

"I do!" Garet replied. "I can't stand it!" Everyone else looked at him. Finally, Mia voiced what the rest of them were thinking.

"That makes no sense at all. You're a Fire Adept!" she said. "You're supposed to be able to stand the heat!" To herself, she muttered, "What kind of Fire Adept is he?"

"What did you expect, Mia? He's full of hot air!" Obviously, it was Ivan.

"That was a lame put-down, and you know it."

"Oh yeah? I'll give you a taste of Shine Plasma! Mwahaha!" That got Ivan an ankh-ing. Anyone have a feeling he's going to get a lot more in the future?

"..." Isaac dotted.

"He says can we get on with it now! Seriouslee!" Garet translated.

"I'm too hot and tired to say anything better, so let's just go," Ivan said wearily. While they had been talking, however, Isaac had used up his patience and wandered off to some unknown location.

"Aren't we missing somebody?" Garet wondered. "We had four...and now there are...and now there are..." Garet was thinking very hard, trying to figure out how many Adepts were left.

"Stop thinking, Garet," Mia said, "or your head will explode."

"I'm impressed," Ivan said. "Isaac managed to get away from us in such a short time. He must have had a lot of those Mints."

"Yeah, he did," Mia said. "Remind me not to let him have anymore...they make him hyper. He's really scary when he's hyper." Garet, meanwhile, was still trying to figure out how many Adepts were left.

"And now there are...and now there are...I GIVE UP ALLREDDY!" he yelled.

"About time, too," Mia said.

"CAN WE JUST GO ALREADY!" Ivan screamed.

"Whatever," Mia said. And then she, too, wandered off to an unknown location to catch up with Isaac. That wasn't exactly the wisest thing to do, but it would help her headache. Ivan stormed off, trying to follow her, very annoyed. And ends up getting even more annoyed that he can't find the right path to go, due to his sense of direction. So now he's stuck with Garet. Great.

"Why do I get the feeling some1 else is missing?" Garet said. "Do u think I'm losing it?" Ivan stepped out from behind a wall. For the fifth time.

"I think you might have already lost it, or maybe you just never had it."

"U r such a jerk, Ivan."

"Not like I understand a word you're syaing, but..." Ivan used Shine Plasma on Garet. Why does he like Shine Plasma so much? We may never know, and it's okay if we don't, 'cause it doesn't matter anyway. Sooo. On with the story.

"OWWW!" Garet shouted. Then he used Liquifier on Ivan. And so a great battle began.

And while that whole thing was going on, Isaac and Mia (who caught up with him somehow) had already made it through the desert, beaten the King Scorpion (or the "Big Ugly Bug with a Big Stingy Thing", as Mia described it) and were waiting at the end of the desert. When suddenly, Mia realized something. "You know..." she said," We left Ivan...with Garet..."

"!" was Isaac's reply.

Back with Ivan and Garet. "Grr..." Ivan growled, and used Bind on Garet, making his Psynergy useless. Not like Garet cared much-- he just hit Ivan with his axe. "I wonder what the other two are doing," Ivan panted. "i'm willing to bet they're doing better that we are." By this time, both were...let's just say they weren't in perfect condition. "Ur so mean I think u rly r possessed by an evil spirit," Garet said.

"You don't even have the excuse of being possessed. You're just a moron by nature." Whoa...mean, Ivan! Just then, Isaac and Mia suddenly appeared, Isaac having used his (really useful) Retreat. Mia saw the state of Garet and Ivan. She wasn't very happy...okay, that's an understatement.  
"You know..." she said dangerously, "You two are both real idiots."

"..." Isaac dotted.

Garet translated, "He says that we're in big trouble!"

"No...duh," Ivan said. He just can't stop the sarcasm, can he?

Mia hit Ivan and Garet with her ankh. Really, really HARD.

Better them than me, Isaac thought.


	7. Alhafra

Isaac, Garet, Ivan and Mia are now just outside of Yampi Desert, trying to find Alhafra for reasons unknown. They're lost. Not like that's anything new. Ivan rubbed his head. "That's going to leave a serious bruise," Ivan complained. He glared at Mia, the cause of his pain. "Anyway, it's your fault for leaving us there in the first place."

"You deserved it," Mia replied.

"..." Isaac dotted.

"He says, coome on allready!" Garet translated.

"So, where are we going, anyway?" Ivan asked. "Ever since Isaac stole my map, I have no idea where we're going at all." He glared at Isaac.

"I don't think you ever knew where we were going, Ivan, O Master Navigator," Mia said. Ivan was trying very hard to control his temper.

"Then where are we going, Mia?" Ivan asked.

"I don't know," Mia answered. "Isaac still has the map." She looked around. "And where exactly IS Isaac?" While they were talking, Isaac had wandered off. Again.

"How am I supposed to know where Isaac is? Remember, half the time I don't even know where I am!"

"Where r we?" Garet asked. Mia and Ivan sweatdropped.

"Gee, Garet, I don't know," Ivan said. "Why don't you tell me?" Garet, eager to answer, started thinking hard. So hard, his head felt like it would burst.

"...You're hoping his head will explode, aren't you, Ivan?" Mia said.

"I kno! We're outside of Yampi Dessert!" Garet exclaimed.

"Yampi Dessert?" Mia laughed. "Is that some kind of new ice cream flavor or something?" Ivan smirked.

" I'd take my lousy sense of direction over your stupidity any day, Garet," Ivan said.

"Oh, and as for not knowing where Alhafra is...how about over there?" She pointed to the buildings of Alhafra in the distance. Then she whacked both Ivan and Garet with her ankh for some reason only she knows of.

"That's really going to help us find Alhafra," Ivan said. "Why don't you devote some energy into finding Isaac instead of hitting me?"

"Say that again?" Mia said, getting a better grip on her ankh.

"You are one of the most annoying people I have ever met. I don't know how Isaac puts up with you and Garet. No wonder he is constantly running away," Ivan said. Mia whacked him yet again with the ankh and ran all the way to Alhafra, leaving Ivan and Garet behind. Again. "Why does this seem familiar," Ivan said, and ran off behind Mia, leaving Garet alone, lost, and very confused.

"I really thought there were more people here," Garet said. "O well, guess not." He then started humming a random song. The ABC's, in fact. Hey, it is random.

Meanwhile, Mia had caught up with Isaac again, and now they were wandering the town, entering every house and talking to every single person in Alhafra. They must have been really bored. Ivan was wandering the town, asking people if they had seen a guy with very spiky hair who spoke in dots.

While that was going on...Garet was wandering around in the wild, asking little birds where he was (the birds thought he was crazy, and flew away as fast as they could) before walking straight into a tree.

Back in Alhafra, Ivan finally spotted Isaac and Mia walking out of a large house. Mia looked very angry already, so Ivan made a mental note to try and avoid another whack. His head hurt enough as it was.

"Ivan, you're lucky you weren't there," Mia said.

"Do I want to know why I'm lucky?" Ivan asked. Isaac shook his head. Well, at least he can answer yes-or-no questions well.

"Greedy, power-hungry mayor..." Mia muttered.

"I take it we'll be leaving now," Ivan said. "Going here was pretty pointless."

"Yeah, let's go," Mia said. "Oh, and by the way...where's Garet?"


	8. Garoh

After making their way through the Yampi Desert once again without any major incident( a rare occasion), Isaac, Garet, Ivan, and Mia have now come to the town called Garoh. They've heard this town is very strange, actually. But nobody was very specific about how the town was strange. They climb the stairs and come to a large pool, with the full moon reflected in it. Near the pool stands a strange, furry thing. Yes, how very descriptive. Garet spots the thing first.

"Hey, what's that over there?" Garet said softly. The others looked around, but failed to see anything.

"What?" Mia said, puzzled.

"That!" Garet pointed to the thing. Finally, the others saw it.

"Is it me, or does that thing look like an oversized humanoid mouse?" Ivan said.

"AHHH!" Garet screamed. "IT"S A MUTANT RAT FROM THE PLANET GORF!"

The others stared at him.

"Um, can we go into the town sometime this year?" Ivan asked, impatient. But he's always impatient. So it's really nothing new. Just then, the thing (who had somehow not head Garet's um, unusual outburst) decided to howl.

"No!" Garet whimpered, hiding behind Mia. "Protect me from the big scary thing!" Mia whacked him. With her ankh. Fear the wrath of Mia.

"... .. .." Isaac dotted. Garet rubbed his head.

"Oww...Isaac says he wants to know what it is," Garet translated.

"I think it's a lycanthrope," Mia said.

"I'm confused," Garet said.

"What else is new?" Mia sighed.

"It's a werewolf, stupid," Ivan said scornfully. "But then again, I didn't expect you to know a big word like lycanthrope." Isaac and Mia rolled their eyes. They were used to Ivan's insults by now.

"Why are we standing here talking?" asked Mia. Isaac then left them and walked into town.

"We really have to avoid these long-winded converstaions," Ivan said. Mia walked into town, also. "This is getting really old," said Ivan. He then Shine Plasma-ed Garet for no reason at all, other than that he likes Shine Plasma-ing things, and ran into town.

Garet Extra Crispy.

Ivan had caught up with Mia, in the center of the town. Isaac was, for reasons unknown, currently trying to force his way into a large rock in the upper corner of Garoh. People in orange robes were standing around.

"Something strikes me as odd," Mia said. "We got here at noon. So WHY in Weyard is it suddenly nighttime?"

"For once you have a point," Ivan said. He glanced up at the sky. "Hey, it's sunny outside of this town!"

Mia, however, wasn't thinking about Garoh's eternal darkness at the moment. "For ONCE?" she said dangerously, looming above him. Ivan cowered.

"Oh, did I say that?" he whimpered. "Just joking!"

"You never used to be evil..." Mia said thoughtfully. "We really need to exorcise that evil spirit you're possessed by."

"Hey, how do you kn----I mean, what evil spirit?" Ivan said, doing his best to look innocent. Mia wasn't buying it.

"Could you make it any more obvious?" Mia said. "Don't bother looking innocent. We're going to the sanctum, right now!" She gripped Ivan's arm and started to drag him there.

"H-hey, what are you doing?" Ivan said. As if he didn't already know. He then screamed to the villagers, "HELP! THIS PERSON IS ASSAULTING ME!" The villagers stared at them. After all, it's not every day you see a girl with strange blue hair(something in itself--how many people do you see walking around with blue hair?) dragging a little blond guy across your town. Actually, the Garoh-ians though it was pretty funny.

Mia pulled Ivan through the double doors of the sanctum. "Excuse me," she said politely to the healer, keeping a tight grip on Ivan's arm the whole time, "but this person is possessed by an evil spirit."

"No, I am most certainly not!" Ivan shouted. "She is insane! Don't listen to her!"

"Denial..." the healer said, "could be a sign that you are possessed."

"And if I were crazy, I'd at least have had the sense to go to a healer," Mia said.

"Oh, you would, really?" Ivan said, and then muttered, "And he says I'm in denial."

Mia whacked him.

"Hey, you're not holding my arm any more!" Ivan exclaimed, then rushed out of the sanctum.

"I tried my best..." Mia sighed, and left as well.

The healer stared. Those had to be the craziest people he's ever seen.


	9. Air's Rock

The party stood at the bottom of Air's Rock, looking up...and up...and up...well, you get the point. Air's Rock was big. "..." Isaac dotted. He then looked pointedly at Garet until he realized he was supposed to translate.

"He says that it's more like a mountain than a rock!" Garet translated.

"He's right," Mia said, still staring up...and up...and up...at the huge purple rock.

"Does it really matter whether it's a rock or a mountain?" Ivan cut in. "We still have to climb it!"

"What? We have 2 climb it?" Garet said, looking suddenly very nervous.

"Well, that's what we're here for," Mia explained to a now-trembling Garet.

"But I'm scared of heights!" Garet exclaimed, now positively shaking.

"Really, now? Hmmmm..." Ivan said, starting to plot, grinning insanely. Plotting is one of the few things that actually make him happy. But for some reason, nobody else seemed to like it very much when he plotted. They just don't understand evilness.

".. .. ... .. ..." Isaac dotted.

"He says that if I fall off the top we kno who 2 blame," Garet said. He then turned to Isaac. "I didn't get that. What did u mean?" he asked.

"You mean you didn't comprehend the implications of that?" Mia said. She was deliberately using big words to confuse and annoy Garet. Just because she felt like being annoying. Garet looked utterly confused.

"Whaa?" he said.

"Mia, don't you know that Garet doesn't understand anything beyond first grade vocabulary?" Ivan said, making both Isaac and Mia laugh.

"Okay, let's go," Mia said. They'd only walked a little way when they came to a large green stone. "Hey, what's that?"

"Well," Ivan said, "seeing as this is Air's Rock, that must be an Air Rock."

"Well, if it's an Air Rock, why don't you use some Air Psynergy?" Mia shot back.

"I guess you mean Whirlwind," Ivan said, and used Whirlwind on the stone. A whirlwind shot out of the stone and cleared away the sand from the path in front of them. Mia applauded half-heartedly. "Why do I have the feeling that applause wasn't very sincere?" Ivan asked her.

"Cause it wasn't----ISAAC! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" Mia yelled. Isaac had been preparing to wander off. Yet again. He should be called Isaac the Wanderer, shouldn't he? "We really need to put a leash on him or something," Mia suggested.

"You're on a roll, Mia!" Ivan said. "Is that two good ideas in one week?"

"Oh, yeah?" Mia said, offended. "Here's another one!" She whacked Ivan.

"Well, easy come, easy go," said Ivan, with a fake sigh.

"And yet another one...why don't we get moving before we lose Isaac again!"

"Point taken."

"Come on, Garet," Mia said. "We're going up."

Garet gulped. "Up?" he whimpered.

Mia was getting annoyed. "That's what I said, isn't it?"

"But I don't WANNA go up!" Garet screamed, and started throwing a temper tantrum. Needless to say, the others were very glad no oe else was arond.

"He's turned into a three year old," Mia sighed, and attemped to drag Garet. Which is something you can't do with only one person.

"Turned into?" Ivan asked. "You mean he wasn't one before?"

"Whatever," Mia said. Letting go of the screaming Garet, she ran ahead to Isaac, who had wandered off again, pulled out a leash from...wherever it came from, and put it on Isaac.

"How on Weyard am I supposed to move him?" Ivan shouted to Mia. "He may act like a baby, but he's huge!"

"That's your problem, not mine," Mia replied. "But if you want, I've got tons of other leashes."

"Do you maybe happen to have an electric collar?" Ivan asked hopefully.

"Ivan, electric collars don't exist in Weyard."

"Oh, yeah."

"But I have a big hammer, a watch and a stuffed turtle."

"Where do u get these things?" Garet asked.

"Uhh...no, it's okay," Ivan told her. "By the way, where do you keep all of these things?"

"I don't know," Mia said, puzzled. "Where do we keep all of our items? But, anyway, let's move." Inside Air's Rock, Ivan's Psynergy was being drained fast, due to the fact that he kept having to use Whirlwind over...and over...and over...Yeah, you get it.

"I'm going to need a Psynergy Stone, and fast, if we're going to make it through here," Ivan commented. What a coincidence! The next room they entered just happed to have a large, glimmering Psynergy Stone in the center. "Well, that was...convinient." Mia had an idea. She took the Djinn Ember, who was clinging to the top of Garet's hair, and gave it to Ivan.

"And Ember could help, too, I guess...doesn't it restore Psynergy?" she said, stroking the Djinn's head.

"WAHHH!" Garet cried. "I WANT MY DJINN!" Isaac shook his head. Ivan guessed what he was trying to say.

"I agree," he told the Earth Adept. "He is a big baby, isn't he?"

Isaac nodded. "..." he dotted.

Mia sighed. " Garet's too busy having another tantrum to translate, so I've got no idea what you just said."

"We really need to get a translating device," Ivan said. "You wouldn't happen to have one, would you, Mia?"

"Hold on...I just might!" Mia said, and pulled out the translating device from wherever her items are kept. She pressed a few buttons on it. "He said sometimes he wonders how they ever became friends!"

"And you didn't tell us about this because...?"

"I forgot about it. I really do have too many things. Oh, and it was easier to let Garet translate."

"Yeah," Ivan said, "but I need an idiot translating device just to understand him!" This made Isaac and Mia laugh.

"..." Isaac dotted.

"He says we're almost at the top so let's get moving!" Mia translated. So the four of them started to move again.

When they had finally reached the top of the Air's Rock/Mountain, they saw a tablet.

"Oh, look," Mia said. "There's writing on it." She leaned forward to read the writing. Her eyes widened. "Uh-oh..." she said. Turning to Isaac and Garet, she said, "Take cover! Duck!" And then proceeded to jump across the floating pillars and hide behind a boulder. Isaac wasn't too far behind.

"Duck?" Garet said, clueless as ever. "Where?"

"Huh?" Ivan said. He the read the writing on the tablet. And became instantly furious. "WHAT? WE CAME ALL THE WAY UP HERE SO I COULD LEARN SOMETHING I ALREADY KNOW?" He started striking the tablet with Shine Plasma, but it didn't do any good. So he settled for Shine Plasma-ing everything around the tablet.

"Eep...I'm happy I'm over here..." said Mia, hiding. Isaac nodded vigorously.

"Duck?" Garet said, oblivious to all the Shine Plasmas. "Where? I don't see a duck!"


	10. Gondowan Cliffs

Disclaimer: We don't own Golden Sun!

**After a long, long, time, we are finally finished putting up all the old chapters! Meaning...the next chapters we add will be brand-new! YAY! PARTY, PEOPLE!**

* * *

Now, where were we? Oh, yes. The Adepts had now landed themselves in...well, as far as they could tell, the middle of the ocean. Again. They were still rather shaken, due to the...odd happenings at Gaia Rock...er, Shoe-Flower-Feather Rock. But that wasn't the problem right now. 

Ivan and Isaac, partners in crime, had decided to play a prank. While Mia had been asleep...well, let's just say it involved flowers, feathers, and some very sticky tree sap.

It was just a little practical joke. Couldn't hurt, right?

Wrong.

And now they were confronted with Mia, wide awake and looking extremely grumpy. In short, she was a gooey mess.She was covered in sap, on which flowers and feathers were stuck on decoratively. On her head, her arms and her face; they were everywhere, and they weren't coming off.

"New fashion statement, Mia?" Ivan said nervously. "It suits you..." Isaac nodded, equally fearful.

"You. Are. Going. To. Pay. For. THIS!"

"Um, Isaac, we might want to run now," Ivan advised. Isaac agreed.

And that's where we are now, with Isaac and Ivan running for their lives, Mia chasing after them, and Garet mourning the loss of his toy shoe. After a while this died down, though, to be replaced by a pressing question.

It was Mia who asked it. "Where are we, anyway?"

"You're asking me?" Ivan asked. "I don't know where we are going, where we have been, or where we are currently, okay?"

"For your information, I was asking Isaac. He's the one who steers this thing."

"I can answer that for you," Ivan said. "Most of the time, I think he just wanders aimlessly and miraculously finds where we were supposed to be going in the first place."

Isaac nodded in agreement.

"So, in other words, we're lost in the ocean...?" Mia asked.

"Yup!" Garet said.

Mia started to cry. "We're lost in the ocean...WITHOUT CANDY! What could possibly be worse?" Hold on, where did candy come up in this conversation?

Isaac rolled his eyes. Didn't she have more important things to worry about than candy? Was he the only one with any sense at all? Because this was really getting annoying. However, he said nothing aloud. Maybe that was because he couldn't talk. But really...one of these days he was going to go crazy. If he wasn't already...

The ship drifted aimlessly until, miraculously, they bumped into Gondowan Cliffs, the passage between the Eastern and Western Seas. Wow! Exactly where they need to be! However does he do it? "..!" Isaac dotted (and exclamation-pointed), alerting the others.

As they sailed along the narrow passage, Garet was able to stop the Mourning of the Shoe long enough to translate. "He says wandering works! He's rite!"

"Told ya so," Ivan told Mia teasingly. She just shook her head in shock. "Mwa."

Mia gave him a funny look. "Mwa?"

"Mwa?" Garet echoed.

"?" Isaac question-marked.

"Yeah, mwa," Ivan said defiantly. "You got a problem with mwa?"

"..." Isaac dotted, sighing.

"If you said what I think you said, Isaac, then I agree," Mia said. "Ivan _has_ lost his mind."

Ivan ignored them, staring instead at a massive rock jutting out of the water. A rock that was very conveniently blocking their way. Oh, no...whatever will the Adepts do?

"It's a big rock!" Garet pointed out. Thanks, Garet. As if we didn't all know that already.

"Why, thank you, Mr. Pointouttheobviousalot!" Ivan said. "The question is, what are we going to _do_ about the rock? Care to answer that?" The Jupiter Adept though for a moment before he was struck by inspiration. "I have an idea!" He shot a Bolt at Garet, propelling him headfirst into the rock. The rock was as solid as ever. As was Garet's skull. Such a shame.

"If not even Garet's head can break it, it's unbreakable," Mia stated.

"I agree. Garet's skull has to be ten times denser than steel," Ivan responded.

"..." Isaac dotted.

"Ow..." Garet moaned. "He says he has an idea."

"We're all for it, Isaac," Mia said.

Isaac walked as close as he could get to the rock without falling overboard. He looked it in the eye (Or at least tried to, because as you probably know, rocks don't have eyes.) and greeted it. "..." he dotted.

"He said...hello to the rock! Even I know that's crazy! And I'm crazy!" Garet said proudly.

"Garet, being crazy is not a good thing," Mia said.

Isaac ignored them all and continued trying to reason with the rock. "... ... ... ..." he dotted.

"He said a lot of big words that I didn't know, but I think he's asking the rock to move out of the way!" Garet said.

"Isaac?" Ivan ventured. "Look, I know you're a Earth Adept an all that...but you can't talk to a rock and expect it to understand you! It's NOT ALIVE!"

At that moment Isaac exploded. (Not literally, though. Hope nobody thought that.) He had to deal with all these crazy people every day, the fate of the world was left to him, and even the _rocks_ wouldn't listen to him! Rocks were part of his own element! He couldn't take this anymore! "!" And with that, Isaac's Ragnarok smashed the rock into a million pieces. Anybody scared now?

"He screamed, 'DIE, ROCK'! and smashed it! I'm scared..." Garet said, cowering.

If anyone had seen Mia and Ivan's faces at that moment, they would have looked something like this: OO

"Okay...what got into you?" Ivan said. "Ooh! Ooh! I know! A super destructive evil spirit! Yes!"

"I really should try to get you exorcised again," Mia warned Ivan.

Isaac smashed what was left of the rock into even smaller pieces. "Remind me not to get on Isaac's bad side," Mia said.

"He has anger issues," Ivan noted. Isaac turned on him with a dangerous look, sword ready. Ivan gulped. "You know I was joking about the anger issues, right?" Isaac then Ragnarok-ed the nearby land, causing a few major earthquakes and some villagers to panic.

"Meep!" Mia said. Okay...meep? What kind of a word is 'meep'? Oh, wait. It's another one of "her" words, isn't it...

"Great," Ivan complained. "I'm stuck on a boat in the middle of nowhere with a rabid Venus Adept bent on killing me. How do I get myself into these situations?"

"!" Isaac attacked the coastline and anyone foolish enough to still be there.

"Now he said, 'CRUMBLE, LAND!'" Garet said.

"Do you have a grudge against your element or something?" Ivan asked.

The three Adepts took refuge below deck. The sounds of the random smashing of landmasses was all around them. Until it suddenly stopped, and Isaac came looking for them, looking a lot happier after he had finished taking out his anger on the world. "..." He dotted.

Garet interpreted this for the other two. "He said that now that the rock's gone, let's keep going!"

"WHAT?" Mia exclaimed. "He smashed half of Gondowan Cliffs, destroyed the coast of Gondowan, caused earthquakes, and _that's _all he has to say for himself!"


	11. Kibombo Mountains

The party has reached the Kimbobo Mountains. At the moment, they are hiding behind a large rock listening to the guards. "I don't think they'll be too friendly to us if they notice we're here," Ivan whispered.

"You heard them!" Mia whispered back. "They'll throw us out."

"Why r we hiding?" Garet suddenly and loudly said. "It's rly boring!" He ran out from behind the rock. "Hi!" he said in a friendly voice.

The guards, however, didn't seem to share his friendliness, and charged at them, spears at the ready.

"Greaaat..." Mia said.

"Just greaat..." said Ivan.

"..." Isaac dotted, pulling the others to their feet,and making gestures for them to run for it. Seriously. There's a bunch of fierce-looking guards with spears pointed at you, and all you do is make a sarcastic remark? Sometimes he felt like he was the only one with any sense in this group.

"Yeah, running would be a good idea right about now," said Ivan. They ran for it. Three of them, anyway.

"So, wats up?" said Garet. The guards reply by charging at him. Garet runs away to catch up with the others with the guards hot on his heels. He catches up with the rest of the party, but leads the guards to them as well. Well, isn't that nice.

"Ga-ret..." Mia said in exasperation.

"It's fine if you want to get yourself into trouble, but did you have to lead the guards right to us?" Ivan said.

"... ..." Isaac dotted, which translates to, "Why on Weyard am I with them again?" The guards've almost caught up, and we're still standing around here talking? And they say Garet isn't intelligent! So now we know the true thoughts and feelings of Isaac, the hero of Golden Sun. And they're not exactly nice thoughts.

Just then, the guards decided to show up. "Get them!" one roared. And, for the third time that day, they charged. To be met with spires, ice, raging fires and tornados in full force. The Adepts aren't exactly in a good mood today, are they? They passed the defeated guards.

The party walked on in silence, until Ivan spoke. "Ya know, I didn't think it was possible to be as dumb as you are." Without warning, he blasted the Mars Adept with a Shine Plasma. The other Adepts joined in. Mia whacked him with her ankh. (Who could have possibly guessed that was coming?) And Isaac finished it off with Ragnarok. Wouldn't want to be in the way of those guys today, would you?

"ISAAC! U ATTACKED ME! UR SO MEAN!" Garet wailed. "WAHHH! WAHHH!" He started crying.

The others stared at him.

"Why are we traveling with him? He isn't very helpful," Ivan said. Isaac and Mia shrugged and continued walking. They walk until they see a dog.

"Awwww...look at da lil' puppy!" Garet cooed. They others looked around nervously.

"Ummm..." Mia said hesitantly. "Maybe we should get going." Isaac and Ivan nodded their agreement. Mia took hold of Garet's arm.

"Let's go, Garet."

"BUT I WANNA PLAY WITH DA PUPPY!" Garet protested. It took all of the Adepts to finally get him moving.

"Oh, can we please just let the guards throw him out?" Ivan begged. "It would solve a lot of our problems."

Isaac shook his head. ".. ... .. "

Mia translated this time. "He says no can do, Ivan. Well, I think that's what he said, anyway. I don't know."

"Oh, well," Ivan replied. Then a thought struck him. "Hey, Mia, do you just happen to have a piece of cloth?"

"Um...yeah..." said Mia, puzzled, as she took the cloth out of the invisible, mysterious Place where Items are Kept and handed it to Ivan. Ivan then tied the cloth around Garet's mouth, rendering him silent.

"Where do you get these things?"

"I have no idea and care even less. Let's go now." They walked on in silence.

"Ah, it's so nice to walk without listening to Garet," Ivan sighed. Isaac turned around. His eyes widened.

"...!" he dotted. The others turned too.

"Um...where is Garet exactly?"

Just then, a crate dropped onto their heads. "How'd the guards get this close without us knowing?" said Ivan. Just then, they heard laughter from above.

"Ha! I got u guys this time! i'm so proud of myself!" That was definitely a voice they knew.

"GARET! YOU ARE SO GOING TO GET IT!" they screamed.


	12. Kibombo

So now the party is in the town of Kimbombo. Like Garoh, it's dark, even though it's daytime outside of the town. A fact that did not go unnoticed by Mia. "Yet another town shrouded in eternal darkness," she said. "What's up with that?"

"I'm starting to like this continent," Ivan said evilly.

"Ya, because your evil," Garet commented. Ivan rolled his eyes.

"No, it's because I get sunburned easily," Ivan answered sarcastically.

"O, really?" Garet said.

"..." dotted Isaac.

"Isaac, what do u mean I can't understand sarcasm? What's sarcasm?" Garet asked.

"I'm guessing you don't know what a dictionary is either," Ivan said.

"No," Garet answered. "Wat's a dictionary?"

"I'll give you a hint," said Ivan. "Look it up in one." Wow. Really helpful hint, Ivan.

"How do u look something up? Like this?" Garet stared up at the sky. The others sweatdropped.

"You do that," Ivan said. He turned to Isaac and Mia. "Let's go already!"

Mia pointed to the northern part of the town, where a large crowd was gathered, and loud music was being played. "Okay, so why don't we check out what's going on over there?" she said.

"What's with that music?" Ivan complained. "It's giving me a migraine."

Garet attempted sarcasm. "Oh, no! I hope Ivan never ever gets a migraine," he said insincerely.

Ivan just ignored him. "Okay, so why are we here exactly? I don't see anything of particular interest."

"..." Isaac dotted.

"He says we're here because we're here!" Garet translated.

"Which basically means that we were totally lost, wandered around until we found this place, and there's no point to us being here," Mia remarked.

"Well, isn't that just lovely," Ivan said.

Mia then got bored of this pointless conversation, and disappeared into the crowd to try and find out what exactly was going on over there. "Why does she always leave me with these two?" Ivan wondered aloud. He looked into the crowd. "Well, at least she has bright blue hair...how hard can it be to find her?" Very hard, as it turned out. The people of Kimbombo like to dye their hair bright colors. Including, needless to say, blue. "Of course! What made me think that somehting would actually go right for once in my life?" Ivan said to no one in particular.

Garet tried sarcasm again. "I'm sooooo sorry, Ivan."

"..." Ivan dotted.

"Give up?" Garet protested. "No way!"

"I can't get an intelligent word out of either of you!" Ivan cried out in exasperation.

Isaac became very offended by this and smacked Ivan with the flat side of his sword.

"Oh, come on already, Isaac!" Ivan shouted above the noise of the drums. "You're mute, I can't understand your dots! You're so overly sensitive!"

"That's wat happens when Isaac gets mad!" Garet said cheerfully. "Only this time, he's using Mia's style!"

"I think I prefer the ankh," Ivan said.

"Ya, there's no danger of being sliced in half with an ankh!" Garet said, still overly cheerful.

"There's no point talking to you, is there?" Ivan said. He blasted both of them with Shine Plasma and proceeded to struggle through the crowd, Shine Plasma-ing anyone in his way. "Why do I have to be so short?"

"Ha ha, ur a midget!" Garet called after him, despite the fact that saying that was going to get him a Shine Plasma-ing. So, of course, Ivan blasted Garet with Shine Plasma again.

"At least I'm not an idiot, unlike a certain Fire Adept I know!" he yelled. In response, Garet whacked Ivan with the flat side of his axe. This just isn't Ivan's day, is it? "You know what?" Ivan said. "I think I'm leaving this town." He then attempted to find the exit. Good luck with that, Ivan.

Then suddenly, Mia stepped out in front of Ivan. Scaring the living daylights out of him. "We need to work on your navigational skills," she told him with a grin on her face.

"And you were where this whole time?" Ivan asked her.

Mia pointed to a random ledge. "I got bored, so then I figured that you guys annoying each other is more fun to watch than that ceremony over there." Ivan sweatdropped.

"Well, I'm so glad I can entertain you!" Ivan said, annoyed. But if you'd been dragged into a pointless town, gotten whacked twice, and then had someone scare you half to death, wouldn't you be annoyed too?

Mia's grin grew even wider, if possible. "Today just isn't your day, is it?" she remarked.

"No, it isn't! But I will get my revenge, one day!" Ivan retorted.

Mia's grin grew still wider. "Oh, really?" she asked. "What will you do?"

"Not sure, but I'll sure have a great time plotting it."

Suddenly, Mia remembered something. "Oh, I almost forgot!" she said.

Ivan had a feeling that he was going to wish she hadn't remembered anything. "What?" he asked.

Mia whacked Ivan. "I forgot that I hadn't given you your whack for the day!" She said, and walked off. Still grinning.

"What did I do to deserve this?" Ivan groaned.


	13. Hyper Mia!

It was a bright, sunny day. The gang was out on the open sea. They were lost again, not like that's anything new. But anyway. All was quiet. Isaac was steering the big Lemurian ship. Garet was staring into space. Ivan was holding the map (fortunately, right side up this time), trying, unsuccessfully, to figure out where they were, and where they were going. And Mia was munching on a candy bar, while looking out for any sign of land. Not that she found any...they are in the middle of the ocean. That's not the point, though. It was quiet. It was peaceful.

_Was_ is the key word.

Mia looked over her shoulder at the Wind Adept. "Ivan, which direction are we supposed to be going?" she asked him.

Ivan looked at his map intently. "North..." he answered, "or is it east...or maybe it's south?" Mia sighed loudly at Ivan's hopeless navigating skills. "Why must you torment me?" Ivan asked her.

"You wanted to be the navigator."

"Yeah, but you guys should've known better than to let me! Use your common sense!"

"...!" Isaac interrupted their argument.

"He says to cut it out, u peaoplez!" Garet translated. He looked at Isaac in confusion. "Cut what out? Do u have scissors?" Isaac sweatdropped.

"Congratulations, Garet, you've successfully mutilated the word 'people'," Mia said, eating the last of her candy bar. Hold on, how'd she get a candy bar in the first place? Do candy bars even exist in Weyard?Who knows? Who really cares? But when she took the last few bites of that candy bar, a monster was awakened...something horrible, something terrifying...a sea monster from the depths of the ocean! No, just kidding. But it was far worse than that. It was..._Hyper Mia_!

You can gasp, scream, or stare open-mouthed in horror now.

No? You don't need to? Hmph, fine. Anyway...

"Ugh, I hate the ocean!" Ivan yelled in exasperation. "I'm going inside. Take your dumb map!" And with that, he stormed down below decks.

"Wats his problem?" Garet asked. Mia shrugged.

"I've got no idea!" she said. "He's just totally weird! Nyah!"

Ivan came up once again. "Nyah?" he asked. "What kind of word is 'nyah'?"

"It's my word, so nyah!" Mia said protectively. Doesn't she know it's impossible to own a word? Whatever...she's hyper, she doesn't really care if she can own a word or not.

"We've rly gotta keep her away from the sugar," Garet said. Wow...Garet had a good idea! The pigs must be flying...

"For the first time in my life, I agree with you, Garet..." Ivan said in shock. "What's going on with my life?"

"..." Isaac dotted.

"He says that weird things happen evry day," Garet said.

This made Mia start singing. "La...weird things are happening every day...laaaa...aaa...nyah! Nyah!" she sang, in a high-pitched voice. So high-pitched, in fact, that all the glass on the ship shattered, unable to withstand the assaults of Mia's High-Pitched Voice Attack.

"Mia, I think you should just sit still for a while," Ivan said weakly. "It's not too late to calm down. Think peaceful thoughts..."

"Piece of cake!" Mia said. Then she screamed, "CAKE! YUMMY! NYAH!" (she's just got to say 'nyah'...) and zoomed around the ship in search of cake. Then she caught sight of a bird perched nearby. "It's so CUTE! Nyah!" she squealed. "Can you sing, birdy? I can!" She then treated the unfortunate bird to her High-Pitched Voice Attack. It cowered trying to block the awful sound out. Then it remembered it had wings and flew away. Yeah.

"..." Isaac dotted.

"He says he wishes he were that bird, so then he wouldn't hav to b here," Garet translated.

"I agree with him," Ivan said. Then, to himself more than anyone else, "Oh, why did I never learn how to swim? Now I'm stuck here with Hyper Mia for who knows how long!"

They watched Mia rampage around the ship. First she was talking like a pirate and making unlucky feathers (from that bird) walk the plank. Okaaay...feathers can't even walk. Then she turned the ship into an ice skating rink. Literally. She had pulled some ice skates out of the Mysterious Place Where Items are Kept, and had been skating around in circles until she got dizzy. And then...she got some stuffed turtles...and had a Stuffed Turtle Parade.

Isaac, Garet and Ivan didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or scream at the top of their lungs.

Ivan chose screaming.

"WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE GET ME OFF THIS SHIP!" he screamed.


	14. Apojii

So. They've finally, finally, finally made it to the eastern edge of the world. In other words, Apojii Island. Ivan looks around, very unimpressed. But then again, the only place that would impress Ivan would be filled with darkness, evil, and destruction. And, thankfully, such a place doesn't exist. "We came ALL the way here for THIS?" Ivan said. "WHAT exactly is the POINT of being HERE?" The other three Adepts started to back away slowly. They hadn't forgotten what happened at Air's Rock.

Now Mia (who had, thank the elements, calmed herself down) looked around, and spotted something interesting; a large blue stone shaped like a raindrop. An Aqua Stone, but of course they don't know that. "Look at that!" she said. Nobody listened to her. Oh well, that's their problem. Mia stood around for a few seconds, listening to whatever pointless conversation the other three were having, but then she got bored. If you haven't noticed, she gets bored very quickly. So, Mia wandered off to the center of the town to look at the stone.

"Hey, isn't there some1 missing?" Garet noted. "There were four of us...and now there are..." He attempted to count, "two!"

Isaac shook his head in dismay. "..." he dotted.

"What do you mean, I shouldn't try to count!" Garet shouted, indignant. "Of course I can count! Meenie!"

"Garet. Not only can't you count, you also can't spell," Ivan added.

"Meanie!" Garet retorted. "I can speel! You don't kno anything, Ivan!"

"Why do I even bother talking to you?" Ivan said, and went over to where Mia was.

Mia was staring at the stone, trying to figure out what to do with it. First, she had tried using Ply on it. That had worked in the Mercury Lighthouse, but of course, no such luck here. Then she had tried covering it with ice. That didn't work either. Finally, she'd lost her temper and whacked it. That didn't work, but she hadn't really expected it to. So here she was, staring at the stone.

"Uh, it sort of looks like a raindrop...so maybe you should use that Douse Psynergy on it," Ivan suggested.

Mia shrugged, and used Douse to make a tiny raincloud form over the stone. Suddenly, there was a flash. The skies opened up, and it started to rain. Ivan was now soaked, and not very happy.

"WHY? WHY IS EVERYTHING AGAINST ME? WHY!" he yelled. Some of the villagers stopped whatever they were doing to stare at the very short, very insane boy who was yelling at the sky.

The rain stopped. "Oooooookaaaaaaay..." Mia said. Then, for reasons unknown, Mia fainted, and fell over. Maybe she ran out of Psynergy, or maybe she was just exhausted from her hyperness on the ship. Who knows? Oh, and as an extra detail, she hit her head on the Aqua Stone.

"Oooooookaaaaaaay..." Ivan said, mimicking her,"that was random." He then tried to drag her to the Inn, where he assumed Isaac and Garet had gone. "Why does everyone have to be so much bigger than me?" he said to himself. Talking to yourself, Ivan? That's not a good sign...

Well, he eventually managed to get himself and Mia into the Inn. "At least it was interesting," Ivan said. "Usually it's me falling over after she whacks me...MWAHAHAHA!" The villagers were beginning to think it might just be a good idea to kick this crazy guy out of the town.

"What happened to her?" Garet asked.

"She just fainted," Ivan replied. "And no, I actually didn't do it."

Isaac gave him a skeptical look. "..." he dotted.

"He says he highly doubts that," Garet translated.

"While I find it touching that you think me capable of it, I didn't do it, because I can't, so there!" Ivan said.

"Yeah rite..." Garet said. "I'm so sure. That's about as likely as Master Hama being ur sister!"

"Whatever. Well, we'll probably need her to get through this Aqua Rock...so Isaac, just hurry up and Revive her," Ivan said. "I. Can. Not. Believe. I. Just. Said. That. What's wrong with me?"

Isaac smirked. "..." he dotted.

"He says, so many things are wrong with you, that if her were to make a list, the list would go on and on 4ever," Garet translated. "He's rite! Lot's of things are wrong with you!"

"At least I'm not mentally challenged," Ivan replied. "Sometimes, Garet, I pity you. Only sometimes. Very rarely."

Too late, Garet was already in Ramble Mode. " 1. Ur possessed. 2. Ur possessed. 98. Ur possessed."

"I'm not even going to honor that with a sarcastic remark."

Isaac shook his head and used Revive on Mia.

"I think I should go now..." Ivan said nervously.

Mia blinked. "Why?"

"Because...never mind."

"Please tell!"

"Are you feeling okay, Mia?" Ivan said suspiciously.

"Who's Mia?"


	15. Aqua Rock

Disclaimer: The authoresses don't own Golden Sun, because they're just authoresses, not game designers. Oh well. One of these days...

* * *

The Golden Sun party stood at the base of the gigantic, blue Aqua Rock. Judging by the color and the water tricking down every side of the thing, it would be Mia's turn to get a new Psynergy. Incidentally, Mia _had _gotten her memory back after her temporary amnesia, an unfortunate fact which Ivan now commented on. "Too bad Mia got her memory back." 

Mia glared at the Jupiter Adept. "Too bad?" she asked, offended. "Hmph." She stalked away angrily.

Ivan looked after her. "Maybe I could have convinced her that she was still sweet, quiet, shy, innocent Mia..." He shook his head. "So many missed opportunies." He thought a moment. "Whatever happened to that Mia, anyway?"

We'll never know, Ivan. Maybe this isn't the real Mia. Maybe this is her evil twin. Maybe the good Mia has been captured, and is at this moment being held hostage in a closet in Xian...

Okay, maybe not.

Mia disappeared somewhere ahead, out of sight. Five minutes later, Mia could have been heard chuckling to herself as a torrent of water rained down upon everyone else's heads, leaving them extremely wet. Well, it _was_ water. Of course they were wet, what else would it be? Dry? Now there's an interesting thought...

A drenched Ivan growled, "I HATE water!"

Mia returned to the group, attempting to look innocent. "Oh, my! Why are you all soaked?" It didn't quite work, however. Oh well. Nice try, Mia.

"Why are you so annoying?" Um...it's her job to be annoying, isn't it? Ivan, you should really know that by now.

Mia chose to move on instead. She ran off to the teardrop-shaped Aqua Stone and cast Douse on it. In response, the moai (also known as the Big Really Creepy Tiki Things) moved aside to clear their path.

It also happened to cause a waterfall to come down on the others' heads. Again.

"Now _that_ I didn't do on purpose."

"I'm so sure," said Ivan, who was by now extremely miffed. "Somehow I have the feeling that I'm not going to be dry for a really long time."

Mia turned to the other two Adepts. "Hey, you two are being awfully quiet back there."

Isaac blinked at her.

"But then again, you're always quiet, Isaac."

"I admire your way with words, Isaac," Ivan said.

"You mean his nonexistent words?" Mia noted.

"Well, I only seem to get hurt when I talk," Ivan continued, "so maybe I should talk in dots instead."

The other Adepts found this extremely funny. "Ivan--quiet? No WAY! HAHAHAHAHA!" Garet was nearly doubled over in laughter.

"About time, too," Mia said to Garet. "Your silence is unnatural. I was going to take you to the hospital if you hadn't said anything."

Garet stopped, horrified. "The hospital? No! Nething but the hospital! It's EVIL! Bad place! BAD PLACE!"

"---I said I _was_, but I was only joking---"

"IT'S FULL OF BLOPPIES! AND HUJIKEYS! AND PLATYPUS!"

"What are Bloppies and---"

"YOU"LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! NEVER, I SAY! NEVER!"

"Garet--"

"NEEEVEEERRRRRRRR!"

"I give up. He's obviously lost his mind."

"You can't lose what you don't have," Ivan pointed out,forgetting his vow of silence for the moment. Isaac attempted to restrain Garet, who was now ranting about 'computers' and people who controlled their very fate through 'fanfics'.

Wow. He really must have been delirious. 'Fanfics'...ridiculous. The very idea.

After they had gotten Garet calmed down (let's just say, it involved the ankh. Enough said), they proceeded. "..." Ivan dotted. Yes, Ivan. Don't ask how he suddenly learned to speak Dottish, it will forever remain a mystery. Isaac shot him a suspicious look. Ivan gave him an innocent look.

Mia. who had been watching the two exchange 'conversation', shrugged. "Whaaatever. I think I like Ivan better silent anyways."

Ivan immediately abandoned this silence. "In that case, I think I'm going to talk a lot more!"

"Ooo, I have an idea!" And with that, she turned Ivan into an ice sculpture. A very short ice sculpture.

_I've got to stop getting myself in trouble,_ Ivan thought. _I don't think I can take much more of this...c-cold!_

Mia brought the ankh down hard. The ice shattered. "Well, I guess nobody wanted to carry you around anyway."

"Um, why can't you just leave me here?" Ivan asked. "This is Aqua Rock, you shouldn't need me."

"Good point." And with that, she picked Ivan up and threw him all the way out of rock, past the islands and into the sea. Fear the wrath of Mia.

...FEAR IT!

"I still don't know how to swim!" Ivan complained.

When he had said he wouldn't be dry for a long time...well, he was right.

Well, meanwhile, the others proceeded to Aqua Rock's peak, finally. Isaac then took pity on Ivan and used Retreat to bring him back. Well, Ivan's lucky that at least Isaac is nice. "Since when was Mia that strong?" Ivan wondered. And here we have yet another unexplained mystery. Mia laughed at him.

The party saw a tablet at the very peak of the Rock. The other Adepts looked nervously at Ivan.

"Why are you all looking at me?"

Then he remembered what had happened on_ Air's _Rock. "I think I'll just wait over here..."

"..." Isaac dotted.

"He says that would be a good idea, yea," Garet interpreted.

"Wow, I thought you two had lost your voices," Mia said. Isaac looked at here. "Sorry, Isaac...you don't _have_ a voice..."

"Can you just read the tablet now?" Ivan asked. "And I desperately need a towel." Mia threw him a towel. "Not even asking."

So, Mia went up to the tablet. She poked it. And poked it again.

Nothing happened.

"Um...I think it's broken..."

"How can it be broken? It's a tablet."

"...I don't know. But it's not working."

"So...we...came all the way up here for NOTHING? AGAIN?"

"Uh oh..."


	16. Izumo

Disclaimer: Neither C.W. or Kitty owns Golden Sun.

* * *

Isaac, Garet, Ivan, and Mia aimlessly sailed the ocean once more. So far, they'd had only a few minor delays; that is, if you count crashing repeatedly into the same rock, Garet's hair catching on fire, and being attacked by the ferocious rabid seagulls (They're vicious, really!) only minor delays. 

Isaac and Ivan had avoided another Hyper Mia scene by raiding Mia's stash of candy and dumping it overboard, where it rested at the bottom of the sea. It was a wise decision on their part...

"Isaac? Ivan?" Mia called.

"?" Isaac questioned.

"Have either of you seen my candy?"

"!" Isaac dove for cover, leaving Ivan to be interrogated. How courageous of him. Real hero material, that Isaac.

"C-candy?" Ivan gulped. "Ah, well, as for that...I...um...don't know? Y-yeah! That's it! I...don't know a thing about your candy..."

Mia didn't quite believe him. "OUT WITH IT, MAN!"

"I'm not a man. I'm a fifteen-year-old boy."

"I don't want to hear it!" Mia's voice became dangerously soft. "Tell me. NOW!"

Poor Ivan had no choice to explain...and face the wrath of Mia. "Well...Isaac and I...sort of...threw it away..." He pointed to the depths of the ocean.

"My...candy...my precious, precious candy...I shall never forget you! Goodbye! Goodbye! I shall miss you dearly!" Mia wailed.She was in shock, and she was clearly enraged as well. The Water Adept turned on thetwo unfortunates."YOU'RE GOING TO WISH YOU'D NEVER DONE THAT!"

"RUN FOR IT!"

--------------------------------------------------------

Besides that small, forgettable incident, the oddball group's trip to Izumo was rather dull, as was the village itself. They were greeted with gloomy, moody villagers, who were mourning over a dragon and a sacrifice. "Yet another town full of distressed villagers that we need to help," Ivan noted, looking at the others. "Why do we always help people, anyway?" he continued. "I don't want to be known as a kind, happy, helpful..._good_ person!" He shook his fist. "I want to be known as evil! Do you hear me? EVIL! NOT GOOD! EEEEEEEEEVVVVIIIIIIIILLLLLLLL! MWAHAHAHAHA!" He stopped. "Um, did I just say that out loud?"

"You sure did, Mr. Eeeeeevvvviiiiiiillllll," Mia said, giving him her special "you're-crazy" look.

"Really? Well, I was just joking! Heh!" Ivan said, inconvincingly. "One day," he muttered, "I will have my sweet, sweet, revenge...MWAHAHAHA!"

"Now you're really scaring me."

Their attention was diverted just then, as Garet had accidentally hit himself with the flat of his own axe, and was squeling in pain. "OW! OW! OW! IT HURTS! IT HURTS!WAHH!" he wailed. "I THINK I GOT A BOO-BOO!"

"How exactly did you manage to hit yourself?" Ivan asked. "Maybe that weapon is a little too dangerous for you. Got a replacement, O Mia of the Many Random Items?"

"Knowing me, yes," Mia of the Many Random Items replied. Picking up Garet's dropped axe, she produced a toy shoe from the Magical Land where Items are Kept and handed it to Garet. "Your new weapon." A toy shoe? What kind of weapon is that? Oh, hold on, that's the point...

"Ahh, that's much better," Ivan said. "Now can we go already? You know very well that I have a patience issue."

"Another one to add to your already long list of issues?"

"Oh, like you're flawless. I don't even know where to start with your problems.

Mia whacked him. Like you didn't see that coming.

Meanwhile Isaac, tired of the conversation and tired of being ignored, decided to start aQuest of Wandering. Whatever that is.

"Hey, Isaac!" Mia yelled. "Wait for me!" She rushed off after him.

"Whatever happened to his leash?" Ivan wondered, and followed, leaving Garet behind.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Huh?" Garet said suddenly. "Where'd everyone go?" Due to his extremely short attention span, however, his attentions soon returned to the toy shoe. He squeezed it; it made a strangled squeaking sound. "OMG! IT SQUEAKS! YAY!" Garet laughed in delight. "I shall name you Squeaky and you shall be mine! And you shall be my Squeaky 4eva and eva!" He grinned like a maniac. "And together, my Squeaky, we shall rule the world! The world we shall rule! RULE! RUUUUULLLLLEEEEE!"

That poor shoe.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mia and Ivan followed Isaac to a house. But not just any house, oh no. This is the House of Kushinada. It's a famous Izumoian landmark. Really!

...Okay, so maybe it isn't.

And who else would be inside but...Kushinada!

What? Who did you think it would be, Kraden?

Kushinada was crying her eyes out over something. But as Mia approached, she suddenly yelled, "Susa, don't!"

Mia looked at her, offended. "Excuse me, but are you blind? I'm not Susa! Whoever that is."

Ivan was rather curious. "Don't what? Jump off a cliff, drink sour milk?"

"Are _you_ Susa?" Kushinada asked Ivan. "Susa, don't!

"Now I'm sure you're blind."

At that moment Garet chose to walk in, happily singing The Shoe Song. "Shoes, shoes, they go squeak, you put them on your feet, shoes, shoes, shoes, SQUEAK!"

Everyone stared at him.

"Oh, there you are! Susa, don't!" Kushinada warned.

Ivan had grown tired of the whole thing. "Yes...that is Susa!" he lied.

"No, it isn't," Mia said. "He's just being evil."

"Hey, it's what I do best."

Then another person walked in, and it was...Susa! Finally!

"Oh, hello, Daddy," Kushinada said.

Yeah, she's blind.

"... ..." Isaac dotted.

"Anyone feel like translating that?" Ivan asked.

"He said that Kushinada can't see anything when she's staring at the floor like that," Susa interpreted.

"Oh. I guess you notice these things when you don't talk," Ivan replied. He turned to Susa. "Wait, you can understand Dottish?"

Garet felt left out. "Why does no one like, ask me to translate nemore? Am I like, being like, replaced?"

"Well, we need a translator to understand you."

"Ur so meen!" Garet yelled. And so a great fight ensued. Not like that's anything new. Ivan and Garet couldn't get along if the fate of the world depended on it.

Hold on...it does...well, then, the world is doomed. Nice knowing ya, Weyard.

"I'm still here, you know," Kushinada said crossly.

"Oh, you are?" Mia said. "Well, why don't you give the real Susa your message? It seems to be urgent."

"Well..." Kushinada said.

"Yes?" Susa asked.

"I forgot!"

"WHAT?"


	17. Gaia Rock

Disclaimer: We don't own Golden Sun, Tarzan, or George of the Jungle! But we do own the Shoe-Flower-Feather-Hyper-Candy War!

* * *

"..." Isaac dotted. 

The party was now gazing up at Gaia Rock, a massive earthy mountain overgrown with vines, trees, and other such plant life. By now, the group was well aware about what was supposed to happen at rocks like these; and Isaac was convinced that he was going to be the one to gain a power. And he was going to tease Ivan about it.

"He says that it's _his_ turn to learn a new Psynergy now," Garet translated. "Not _yours._ So nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!"

Ivan was unamused. "Stop gloating, it's so uncharacteristic. Aren't you supposed to be our noble, heroic leader?"

Isaac was speechless--er, dotless.

"Then act like it."

Isaac cast Ragnarok on him.

"HEY! THAT HURT!"

"Hey! That hurt!" Garet said, copying Ivan. Though he hadn't been attacked at all. Yet.

Mia blinked at them.

"Ouch," Ivan moaned, just recovering from Isaac's revenge. "Mia, you've been blissfully quiet."

"Ya, you've been so quiet, Mia!" Garet chimed in.

"Ack! I have my own personal echo!"

"Echo...! Echoooooooo! ECHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Um, sure, whatever." Ignoring his personal echo, Ivan turned back to Mia. "Have you taken a vow of silence? It suits you well." Mia glared at him, something Ivan didn't fail to notice. "Sheesh, you are so sensitve! Can't you take a joke?" He stopped for breath. "But seriously, why are you being so quiet? It's unnatural..."

"Unnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaattttttuuuuuuuurrrrrrraaaaaaaalllllll..." Garet tried, but failed, to create a spooky effect.

"Will you shut up?"

"You shut up!"

"Just SHUT UP!"

"Youuuu shuuuutttt uuuuuppppp..."

Mia shrugged and walked away.

---------------------------------------------

"Did she tell you, Isaac?" Ivan questioned as they continued on the path. "Or did you at least understand if she said anything?"

"..." Isaac dotted.

"He wants to know why he should tell you," Garet interpreted.

"Because I am Ivan, and soon the world will be mine to destroy! Do you hear me? I AM IVAN!" This looks like a case of Evil Egoistical Wind Adept Ivan...

"..." Isaac dotted skeptically.

"Fine, don't tell me." Ivan rolled his eyes. "But aren't you the one who usually wanders off?"

Isaac wandered off.

"Great. I just had to remind him..."

-----------------------------------------------

Ivan and Garet followed Isaac to a ledge, Mia joining up with them halfway. Without warning, Isaac jumped on a vine and started to swing.

Okay, that was spontaneous.

"Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth..." Garet moaned. "STOP THE RIDE! STOP THE RIDE! I DON'T WANNA GO ON THE BIG ROLLERCOASTER!"

"Garet?" Ivan asked.

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! YOU HEAR ME? YOU CAN"T MAKE ME!"

"Garet---"

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! NEVER! NEVER!"

"GARET!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO---what, Ivan?"

"There are no such things as rollercoasters."

"I knew that."

-------------------------------------------------------

Isaac liked to swing.

"Agh! How long is this going to go on?" Ivan moaned, holding his head. "He goes back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...NO! I sound like Garet! The world is ending! THE WORLD IS ENDING!"

Mia stared at Ivan the Psychotic. Ivan sure has a lot of names...

Garet seemed to have gotten over the whole "rollercoaster" thing, due to histwo-second attention span."Wow! It's Tarzan!" he exclaimed.

Now it was Ivan's turn to look at Garet as if he were psychotic. "Who?" he asked.

"Tarzan!" Garet repeated.

"Let me rephrase that.Who is Tarzan?"

"Tarzan is Tarzan!"

"And Tarzan is who?"

"TARZAN!"

"I give up."

About time, Ivan.

Mia was watching Isaac while miraculously not becoming dizzy. As Isaac started swinging farther, faster, and more violently, Mia became mildly worried. "Isaac," she began, "watch out for the---"

Isaac lost control, slamming face-first into a wall.

"--wall."

Ouch.

Ivan was having fits of laughter due to Isaac's pain. "Oh Jupiter! Mia, you talked!"

Mia gave him a disapproving look while trying to revive Isaac.

"How is that s0 funny?" Garet wondered.

Ivan chose to answer him. "I was laughing at Isaac, not Mia...but really, who exactly is Tarzan?"

Garet ignored him. "Isaac's like George of the Jungle!"

"Who is George of the---"

"George, George, George of the Jungle, watch out for that tree!"

"I'm not even going to bother asking..."

"WAAAATCCCCH OOOOOUUUT FOOOOOR THHHHAAAAAT TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Garet boomed, opera-style.

The other three stared at him. "I worryaboutyou sometimes, Garet," Ivan commented. "But then I think about how sad your case is and I laugh."

Garet understood that he was being insulted. "Meenie!" He hurled Squeaky the Shoe at Ivan, yelling as it bounced off; "Take that! Fear the shoe! FEAR THE SHOE! FEEEEEAAAAAARRRRR THHHHHEEEE SHHHHHOOOOOOEEEEE!"

Ivan stared, wide-eyed, before having another fit of laughter. "I wonder what you could possibly be thinking..." He used the Mystical Magical Mind-Reading Arts of Mind Read to...read Garet's mind! Who would have seen that coming?

Crickets were heard chirping in the background.

Garet was unfazed. "THE SHOE SHALL RULE ALL!"he laughed maniacally.

Isaac blinked.

Ivan blinked.

Mia blinked.

"Back away slowly..." Mia said.

"ACK! THE POINTLESS RANDOMNESS! IT'S EVIL! EVIL! I CAN'T TAKE IT!" Ivan screamed, running off into the depths of the Rock.

Mia stopped him and pointed out the _right _direction into the depths of the rock.

"I will get a map one of these days." Well, if you read it upside down, Ivan...

The three ran off, leaving Garet behind on a ledge. They really shouldn't have done that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Garet headed up to Gaia Rock again. After the other nuisances as left, he was free to carry out his plan of world domination...WITH SHOES!

He sounds like a dysfunctional Ivan clone, doesn't he?

Aww...he must look up to Ivan so much...or maybe he's just crazy. You decide.

Garet had gone back down to the pitiful village of Izumo. Pitiful it may be, but it contained the source of his strength...the all-powerful SHOES! SHOES! SHOES!

So, he went and stole all the shoes in the village. Don't ask.

And now...

"And now, my precious..." Garet cooed to Squeaky. "We shall rule with...THE ARMY OF SHOES!"

Um?

"THE ARMY OF SHOES WILL RULE! FEAR THE SHOES! FEAR THE SHOES!"

Yeah, he's crazy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Why do I have the feeling something completely random just happened in Izumo?" Ivan wondered aloud. The Mystical Magical Super Special Wind Adept Premonition Powers must be kicking in, then...

Isaac blinked at him.

Mia blinked at him.

And so, they forgot about it completely and headed to the top of Gaia Rock.

"I have a bad feeling about this..." Ivan muttered.

You should, Ivan. You should.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As they continued up the Rock, Isaac, Ivan, and Mia became aware of the sound of many footsteps behind them. "Hm?" Mia said.

And then, they saw Garet...and his Mighty Shoe Army!

"BOW DOWN TO DA SHOES!" Garet yelled.

"...?" Isaac dotted.

"Couldn't have put it better myself, Isaac..." Mia said as she started to back away from the fearsome sight.

"ENEMY WARRIORS!" Garet boomed, pointing at them.

"Garet, we're your frien---" Mia began.

"SHOES, ATTACK!"

The shoes stayed where they were.

Come on. They're _shoes._

"ATTACK!"

Silence.

"ATTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"

"Um, Garet?"

"I know! They lack motivation!"

"Shoes don't have motivation, Garet---"

"The good old Shoe Song will boost their spirits!"

"...Shoe Song?"

"Sing it, everybody!"

"Um?"

"SHOES, SHOES, THEY GO SQUEAK, YOU PUT THEM ON YOUR FEET, SHOES, SHOES...SQEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKK!"

"Okay. I am officially scared now."

"SING IT!"

"Garet?"

"SING IT, MY ARMY!"

"GARET!"

"SIIIIINNNNGGGG IIIIITTTTTT...yes, Mia?"

"Shoes can't sing."

"I knew that.

---------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay. What. Is. Going. On?" Ivan shouted in frustration.

"YOU COWARDS!" Garet commanded. "SHOES, ATTACK! AAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKK!" He just picked up the shoes, hurling them at the Adepts, rocks, the unfortunate hot pink bunny passing by---you name it.

"You just had to give him that shoe, didn't you?" Ivan asked.

"Who was to know he'd try to take over the world with it?" Mia replied, trying to fend of the shoes being thrown at her.

"Well, only Garet would have an army of shoes..."

"Point taken."

Isaac had had enough. "!" he exclamation-marked, grabbing flowers and throwing them at his "best buddy."

And so, The Shoe-And-Flower War began.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Agh...my head...it hurts...the randomness...can't...take it...NO!" Ivan wailed. "I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! I WILL KEEP MY SANITY! SAAAAAAANNNNNNNIIIIIIITTTTTTTTYYYYYYY!" Grabbing a few stray feathers, he charged into the fray, using the feathers as a sword. "FEAR THE SWORD OF FEATHERS!" he yelled. "FFFEEEAAAATHEEEERRRRRS AND MMMMYYYYY PRECCCCIOOOOUUUUSSSSS SSSSAAAAANNNNNIIIIITTTTTYYYY! MINNNNNEEEEE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Mia watched them. "He's already lost his sanity..."

And so, The Shoe-Flower-Feather War began. You'll learn about it in history class.

Okay, maybe not.

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The war raged on. Gaia Rock was close to being renamed Shoe-Flower-Feather Rock. Shoe after flower after feather was thrown, and war cries could be heard all the way in Lalivero.

The Laliverans thought the gods were speaking to them.

But then again, the Laliverans also worship random girls who fall from the sky.

And Mia was bored.

"Isaac!" she yelled.

"!" Isaac ignored her, too busy shoving fistfuls of pretty red flowers in Ivan's face.

"HEY! THOSE ARE ROSES!" Ivan screamed.

"ISAAC!" Mia yelled threateningly.

"!...?" Isaac stopped for a moment, ignoring the feathers with great effort. Between feathers and Mia...let's say, if there's one thing the Brave Heroic Isaac is afraid of, it's Mia.

"Can I have candy?" she asked sweetly. Yeah, she may have asked nicely, but Isaac knew what was going to happen if he didn't hand it over...

"NNNOOOOOO!" Ivan yelled, as Garet's shoes were hurled upon him. "HOW WILL I KEEP MY SANITY THEN?"

"You won't," Mia said, grinning, as Isaac fearfully handed the candy over...and marked the start of The Shoe-Flower-Feather-Hyper-Candy War.

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Let's just say...nothing was accomplished at Gaia Rock that day.

* * *

The following is a message from the authoresses:

CW-...Whoa...that probably has to be one of the most random things ever posted on this site. YAY! PARTY!

Kitty: And all I have to say is, it's all thanks to this candy here! YAY CANDY!

Candy: Aww...that's so sweet...

Kitty: That was lame.


	18. Yallam

Uh, ya. Technically, this chapter shouldn't even exist, and for that matter, we skipped quite a bit, but hey. At least we're back, right?

And there will be some severe editing to do. We haven't worked on this since our youth, so bear with us...

And enjoy!

--Kitty and CW out--

Yallam

So, the merry group of four, after going through many meaningless tasks such as getting some l33t new summons, finding (and promptly breaking and scattering the pieces of) an old trident, visiting some pirates in an attempt to talk to every NPC on the face of Weyard, and eventually making it to the city of Lemuria, from which they were promptly thrown out.

"I had nothing to do with it! I swear!"

Yeah, sure, Ivan. But anyway, the group decided to take it easy for a while and go exploring, and eventually ended up in the small town of Yallam, for a reason even they couldn't think of.

"Umm...so what are we doing here?"

...See?

"You're asking me?" Ivan asked, rolling his eyes. "I want to destroy the world, not explore it--" he broke off. "Wait. You weren't supposed to hear that part. Just...uh, just scratch that bit, 'kay?" He was rewarded with a hearty stare from the others. "What?" he asked innocently. To himself, he muttered, "I hope this doesn't ruin my plans..."

"Hey, Mr. Evil Genius," Mia began, "if you destroy the world, where are you going to be?"

"Why should I tell you?" he responded snidely. "You have to find your own sanctuary from my destruction!" This was followed by one of his almost patented evil laughs. Once again, the only response from the others was a totally creeped-out stare.

"..." Isaac (who else?) dot'd.

"...You're right, he has lost it," Mia agreed.

"Anyways, can we please hurry up here?" Ivan interrupted. "It's depressingly boring."

At that point in time, Isaac got bored and just decided to wander off. Again. Gosh, is anyone else getting tired of this?

"Well, shall we continue our seemingly pointless exploration of this soon to be destroyed town?"

Garet looked confused. Nothing new there. "Soon 2 b destroyed?"

Mia shook her head sadly. "...Sometimes I worry about you, Ivan."

Choosing to ignore her for the time being, Ivan instead looked over at Garet, an aura of sarcasm already forming around him. "Was that the only part of my speech that you actually understood?"

"No."

"No?" Ivan asked, amused.

"Oh, do you not understand the meaning of the word?" Well, that sure wiped the smile off his face.

"W-what?!"

"Whoa, Garet!" Mia exclaimed, not trying to hard to keep a grin off her face.

"G-garet!" Ivan stuttered, still not sure what to make of this new development. "What's wrong with you? Me---I, I'm usually the one insulting _you!_"

"Nothing is wrong with me," Garet dismissed flippantly. "Oh, right. I forgot that you have comprehension problems. No-thing is wr-o-ng wi-th me." The last bit was said as if he were speaking to a toddler.

"I-i...that is to say, you--" Ivan broke off, backing up a bit. "...This is all just one horrible dream. Yes, yes...I'll wake up soon enough, and everything will make sense again..."

"Sorry, but that's not happening," Mia said, smirking.

"Well, yes. That would mean that we are all experiencing the same dream. And, of course, the probability of that happening has to be at least..." With that, he launched off into some crazy complicated explanation, making Mia wish she hadn't said anything.

"What in Jupiter's name is going on here?" Ivan asked, dazedly.

"Beats me," Mia shrugged, bored.

"I think I'm scared. Like, really scared," he sighed. "I really hope I'm delusional..."

"The probability of us all having the same delusion is..." Garet interrupted with another long-winded, complicated explanation.

Just when Ivan was about to doze off from this new ramble, Mia had a sudden flash. "IVAN!"

"Ah! Yeah, what?!" he yelped, jumping up. "Was my sleeping offending you?" He suddenly had a horrible flashback of his old math teacher, the one with that big ruler, the day she caught him sleeping in class. Ouch.

"Nah," she said sweetly. "I just haven't whacked you lately." And with that, well...you know.

"Ugh, that was painfully random," he said, wincing and rubbing his poor abused head.

Interrupting what would have probably turned into a battle of Plasma vs. Ankh (and we all know who'd win that one...), Isaac managed to wander his way back to the others.

Seeing the futility of trying to argue with Mia, Ivan instead turned his anger to Isaac. "And just where have you been this whole time?" This, obviously, was accompanied with a Spark Plasma.

Calling upon Granite, Isaac blinked as the attack was blocked. "..." Seeing something in the vague distance, he grinned.

"And just what are you so happy abo---" Ivan was cut off as he was roughly grabbed by a pair of armed guards. "HEY! AGH! LET ME GO!!"

"You're under arrest for plots of world destruction!" one of the officers stated.

"YOU!" Ivan yelled angrily, pointing at Isaac. "YOU TOLD THEM, DIDN'T YOU?! I WILL GET MY REVENGEEE!"

As Ivan's screams and threats faded off into the distance, the other three had a nice, quiet dinner. Needless to say, none of them were very happy to go get him out of prison the next day.


End file.
